Sometimes I feel like a fish. A goldfish to be exact. When I bought my goldfish in Lynchburg, the lady warned me that eventually the bowl that I had bought for them would be too small. I would have to buy a larger tank with a filter probably in a semester or two. And then, in about two years, if I kept my goldfish healthy enough, I would have to move them out of the tank and into a large pond. It's rare for people to take care of their fish that well so that they will live long enough to become big enough to have to live in a pond and I have nothing to back up this information - it's just what the lady at the checkout told me.
Anyway, what does this have to do with me? Well, Philippians 1:6, my favorite Bible verse, says, "God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again." This verse gives so much hope. Getting discouraged is the easiest thing for me to do. I compare myself with other people all the time and wonder how God could even be pleased with me. I don't understand prayer. I just don't. And when I see people who pray so earnestly and truly have great confidence that God will come through, I wonder why, after like 3 years of honestly pursuing God and praying every day, why I still can't trust that God will answer my prayers. Or I see people who have literally books of the Bible memorized and I can't even memorize the order of the books. I just get so discouraged and I think that I'll never be what some people like to call a "Spiritual Giant".
But this verse helps me remember that I am a goldfish. And God's not done with me yet. When I first became a Christian, I was in that little baggy that is used to take the fish home. Then, God starting showing me more about Himself, and I put in a small tank. After that, I started growing and God started teaching me more about Him and I was placed in a larger tank. Then, I was put in a big tank with a filter. Each tank represents something awesome that God reveals about Himself to me. Like His love, or the vastness of His forgiveness. But God is the whole ocean! When I think that I know everything about God, He puts me in a bigger tank. However, I can only be put in that big tank when I'm ready. He can't put a small fish in a large tank with a filter because that filter would eat me up (trust me... fish in my room have died like that).
I just have to be patient. Goldfish take time to grow and to learn new stuff. I think at the end of this semester, I was placed in a larger tank, if you will. God has just been showing me that God needs to be respected. He is so great and I take Him for granted. I've become comfortable with the idea of having a relationship with God. And it is a place of comfort, but God is GOD and I need to respect Him and honor Him. He deserves it.
I'm sorry that this post is kind of long and I'm sorry if it didn't make sense... but this has been on my mind for the past couple of weeks... so I decided to share my thoughts.
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