All the good Christian people know that we are supposed to wait until marriage to have sex. Why? Because God said so. Because your parents told you that's what best. Because your Christian teachers, pastors, leaders, and mentors told you it's for the best. Things can go wrong - pregnancies, STD's, getting caught, he could leave you, you could leave him, and so many more things. But as young adults, we get so caught up in the moment that we don't care about the risks. It's adrenaline. It's fun. We can deal with the consequences later.
While we were dating, Thiago I knew about all of the risks and dangers of having premarital sex... but I don't think that's what stopped us from doing the deed. Condoms and birth control can go a long way and those risks weren't holding us back. My husband and I were both virgins when we got married, but we played with fire before marriage. We did much more than I am proud of and I wish I could take it back.
I have recently been questioning myself if sex would have been any different if we had done it before we got married and I'm convinced the answer is yes. It was something we wanted so desperately and longed for so deeply. We dated for three very long years, spent a lot of time alone, made out probably too much, but decided to wait. It was hard. We cried, prayed, set rules, broke rules, literally pushed each other away, got mad at each other, and really struggled to remain pure. The struggle was well worth it.
We gave sex an incredibly high value. Sex is so special. It is sacred. It is one of God's greatest gifts. It is fantastic.We knew it was too special, too pure, too beautiful to just do it simply because we were horny teenagers lusting after each other. Movies, songs, TV shows, books, and magazines all talk about sex a lot. If so much on the media is about sex, then sex must be pretty wonderful. If it's so wonderful, it should be treated as wonderful and not something you play with and care less about. It should be treated as something of high value. You care for it and protect. I love my camera. It is my prized possession. I'm not going to give to anyone. I'm very particular about the people I let take pictures with it. I want to be sure the person will care for it as I do. Sex, however, it much more valuable than my camera. It should be treated with much more care.
Another reason I waited was because I loved my future husband far more than I loved Thiago at the time. I didn't know for sure if Thiago and I would get married, even when we were engaged. I wanted my husband to be my only one because I wanted him to know how much I loved him, even before we even met. I prayed for my husband (and still do! hehe) everyday. I was in love with my husband before I knew who he was and was determined to be faithful and true to him.
Now... am I glad we waited? Did Thiago not turn into my husband? Would it have made a difference? I'm beyond grateful we waited. Our wedding night was awkward... but absolutely amazing. What we had been wanting and waiting for had finally come. Thiago was officially my husband and I could give him all my love without reserves. It was so special and so right. There was no fear, no guilt, no shame. And it continues to be amazing, much more amazing than it was then. Every single time Thiago and I make love is special. It doesn't matter if it's a spontaneous quickee or a candle-lit romantic night. Every time we do it means something. It's a bond that only we share. It's something we reserved for each other. It's the greatest declaration of love we gave to each other.
Waiting was hard. Very very very hard. But it was so worth it.
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